Guns In America

THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM
It was early Janury when I sat down to prepare for my next series of Food For Thought dinner parties. As I mapped out topic ideas and food pairings,  I was confronted by an enormous elephant in the room. I will call it my "Guns in America Elephant". Though it seemed like such an obvious topic for our next event, I didn't want to consider it. We were on the heels of the devastating school shootings at Sandy Hook Elementary, and I told myself people were not ready for this topic. It was too divisive, too emotional, and far too complex to take on.

As I scoured the internet looking for information and inspiration for other topics, I couldn't get away from it. I couldn't go on Facebook, turn on the television or radio, or have a discussion without it coming up in some way. In true elephant form- it was enormous and weighty and inconveniently planted smack dab in the middle of American thought and conscience. As much as I tried- I just couldn't move it.

Despite and in light of all of this, Guns in America became the first dinner topic for 2013. I took a deep breath as I posted the announcement onto our Facebook page, and then I waited.


CRICKETS
If we're honest, most of us have opinions about guns in this country. While all of us were unified in horror over the massacre at Sandy Hook; we were equally divided by what we thought were the right "solutions" to prevent this from happening again. We heard arguments like "we should have armed security guards in schools", "we need to ban guns in this country", "we need far better restrictions on the who and what of gun purchases", and the list goes on.

So as I sat and waited for people to sign up for this dinner, I had to ask some questions. If most of us have opinions on this topic, and many of us would agree this is an incredibly important issue, why then was I finding it so difficult to pull together a group of people who wanted to discuss this? And why did I have a pit in my stomach every time I thought about the upcoming dinner?

Here's why. This is an important topic. It involves life and death, good and evil, right and wrong. This is also one of the most heavily politicized debates in our country. Depending on the media outlet you get your information from- the opposition is shaped and viewed as either evil, ignorant, and greedy pawns of the gun lobby; or tree hugging, naive, and misinformed pawns of a government who wants to take away as many civil liberties as it can.

We were all exhausted by the media coverage, the rhetoric, the endless array of memes on social media,  and the "statistics" that seemed to support just about any idea on any side of the issue. Not only was it was exhausting trying to navigate things in a responsible manner; it had been next to impossible to wade through media agendas, gather credible data, and make what resembled a well informed opinion at the end of it all.

With all of this in mind, it made perfect sense that people would have rather had their teeth extracted (myself included) than sit a table with a group of people and have what could only result in a politically charged and divided yelling match of mass proportions, right? People were after all,  un- friending "friends" in large numbers over the issue; how could anyone possibly want to face further rejection by a live group of peers sitting across a table?

Let me tell you how. You recognize the media hype as just that, and you push past your fear and insecurity. You join a group of people in flesh who are interested, curious and willing to share their thoughts as vulnerably as you. You sit down to a good meal and just talk. Strip away the caustic Facebook memes and thoughtless tweets. Silence the media outlet talking heads. Ask questions. Listen to others answers with respect and consideration. Do your best to leave assumptions and stereotypes at the door. Recognize that each person is the sum of their personal experiences and seek to understand some small part of that experience.


REJECTING THE NOISE
That's what a group of 9 people did on the night of  February 22nd 2013. We pushed past the media noise, the rhetoric, and the agendas. We showed up. We broke bread around a table, made small talk, and got down to the business of discussing our views on guns, violence and America. Surprisingly, it was one of the most civil discussions I've been a part of. It reinforced my belief that people can discuss and disagree respectfully, that people want to listen and be heard; and that if you provide the right atmosphere, people will learn from one another. I learned once again, that this Food For Thought endeavor is a worthwhile one.